Look Listen Learn Laugh Love

Look

∧∧ Grant Haffner's seriously stunning colours, shapes, lines, and visual storytelling

Listen

∧∧ This track is so sweet and light and melancholy, and a bit magical. It has taken me down the rabbit hole of the beautiful vocals and harmonies that are three-gal trio Mountain Man

Learn

∧∧ 20 Ways to Draw a Chair. This book is on my Christmas list

Laugh

∧∧ Missing cat!

Love

∧∧ My favourite new Tumblr crush. I love her photography!

Mail art + mild regrets

There are things in life that you live to regret and in my case, those things include having that second glass of cheap semillon sauv blanc last night, losing two hours of my life watching The Heat on TV while folding mountains of washing, and saying to myself at the end of said wine/watching/washing that just this once, I’d leave the dishes until morning. So this morning when I got up at my usual 5am it was harder than usual, my head hurt (I know, I’m a lightweight), and when I came downstairs the first thing I saw was a pile of dirty dishes. Regrets, my friends!

However, I plan to salvage the day by enjoying the sunshine out and about with my darling children, who hopefully will not be too loud or high pitched ;-). Here are some more envelopes I’ve been painting this week. Only five today. I hope you enjoy your Thursday, friends. And for all you Victorian folks who work for The Man, enjoy your day off tomorrow, you lucky things!

ps. If you're worrying about the fact that I've left the full name and address on the first envelope on this page, don't fret. That mail is for Amber, who makes and sends the most phenomenal mail-art you've ever seen and regularly publishes her address on the Internet, so I know this is not a concern for her. I left it on because I thought that for a change it would be nice for you to see exactly what the people receiving my mail see, rather than big chunks of blanked out space.

Wooden letterbox with a WiFi-connected printer inside

Hold onto your hats because I think I have found the best child's toy ever invented. It's fun, it's educational, it builds relationships, it uses technology to create real connections, and it's super cute!

Meet Turtle Mail, a wooden letterbox that can deliver real-time printed messages to your children. It contains an embedded thermal printer and is WiFi connected, so family and friends can send the children they love special messages from their mobiles or computers.

For us, this would be amazing! Mr B works very long hours, and is most often at work before our children wake up, and home long after they are in bed. Both sets of grandparents live a long way away, and the kids adore them but rarely get to see them. To enable parents and grandparents to surprise the children by sending little messages to their own "postbox" at any time during the day would be incredibly special, not to mention a lot of fun for the kids.

For security, parents have complete control over who will be allowed to send content to their children. They can send both text and images, and there are other apps that extend the play experience, like interactive Turtle Mail activities and characters, and a super-cute function with which you can "register" your child's favourite toy, and the toy can then send them messages.

Turtle Mail is part of a crowd-funding campaign that's about half way through, and half way towards its financial target. In case you don't know, crowd funding is when you pledge to make a donation to help a great idea achieve fruition - in this case the manufacture and distribution of Turtle Mail - but you only actually pay the money if the full target is reached within the stated timeframe. In return for your pledge, you also get a number of rewards.

Mr B and I made a pledge as soon as we saw this campaign, because we could easily see how incredible this toy would be for our family. So I really, REALLY hope the campaign reaches its target, so we can get our hands on our own Turtle Mail! If you want to take a look and maybe help support this exciting new, interactive toy, all the details are on their Kickstarter page (but be quick because there are only a couple of weeks left).

Why you should send thank-you notes and keep a gratitude journal

Did you know that regularly writing down your gratitude can make you a happier and healthier person, and make you more likely to exercise more, sleep better, and exercise kindness towards others?

Woah! I mean few of us would argue that gratitude is a more beneficial emotion than the lack of gratitude, but this takes things to a whole new level. A scientific level, if you will, because I'm quoting the findings of Robert A Emmons and Michael E McCullough, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (vol.84, no.2).

Their study, called "Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life" is a fascinating read.

Essentially Emmons and McCullough conducted three separate studies on "gratitude," randomly dividing the groups of people in each study into a further three different "conditions." They then asked them to a) document their feelings or experiences relating to these conditions, and b) provide some general "wellbeing rating" information about their health, exercise, sleep, moods etc. Depending on the study, they recorded this information on either a daily or weekly basis.

Instructions for the "gratitude condition" group in each of the three studies were the same:

"There are many things in our lives, both large and small, that we might be grateful about. Think back over the past [week / day] and write down on the lines below up to five things in your life that you are grateful or thankful for." 

And it seems from the results that the recording of gratitude, the forced mindfulness and physicality of writing it down, can have a profound impact on both health and happiness.

(What I like to think about is that as the participants were divided randomly, it is likely that the existence of "things to be grateful for" was more-or-less equal among all participants. And yet these wonderfully positive findings were significantly more pronounced only in the groups that were instructed to write their gratitude down.)

So in Study 1, involving weekly reporting over 10 weeks, the "gratitude group" experienced fewer symptoms of physical illness, and spent a lot more time exercising. The emotions they experienced in response to someone helping them or giving them aid were associated with significantly higher ratings of joy and happiness.

"Participants in the gratitude condition felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic regarding their expectations for the upcoming week. They reported fewer physical complaints and reported spending significantly more time exercising," the report found.

And that's just from writing down your gratitude, folks!

In Study 2, while the health benefits were not as pronounced as in Study 1 (something the authors posited could have to do with the much shorter timeframe of the study - 13 days instead of 10 weeks), the people in the "gratitude condition" seemed to become kinder. People who had been asked to record their gratitude were "more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or offered emotional support to other."

Finally in Study 3, in which the participants were all adults with neuromuscular diseases, the findings of the previous two studies held firm. "It appeared that the gratitude condition not only fostered daily positive affect, but also, reduced daily negative affect," the authors found. "Participants in the gratitude condition reported considerably more satisfaction with their lives as a whole, felt more optimism about the coming week, and felt more connected with others."

Even "observer participants," people who were close to and living with the main participants, reported noticing a higher life satisfaction in those who had been recording their gratitude.

So here is my conclusion. Get out your pen and paper, and write down the things that make you grateful. Big or small, significant or insignificant. Do this every day, at the end of each day. "What made me grateful today."

It will make you happier, more optimistic, healthier, and more considerate.

And even better: if there is another person on that list, someone whose words or actions were the reason you felt grateful, write your thank-you to them, instead of in your journal. Why not put your gratitude to use, by spreading kindness to others?

ps. While we're in the mood for saying thank-you, don't forget that there are free postcard downloads to say thank-you to your postie for delivering your mail (rain, hail, snow or heatwave) here

ps2. Here is a link to the Emmons and McCullough article if you want to read the full report

11 pieces of really annoying advice

Yesterday I sat in the sun in our back garden with the children and our friend Tonia, and we ate watermelon and spat out the pips and sipped prosecco (me and Tonia, not the kids) and talked about life, the way girlfriends do.

Tonia said something about someone who had been giving her a hard time, "I know I have to earn her respect, but..." and that was enough for me to get RIGHT UP on my high horse. "You don't have to earn her respect!" I thundered. "Everyone deserves respect, as a given." When I meet someone new, I absolutely show them respect, well before they have had time to 'earn' it.

And that got me thinking about some of the other common sayings that I want to spit out with those watermelon pips. Platitudes and pieces of advice that I think do more harm than good. Here they are. What about you? What would you add to this list?

You have to earn my respect No. You deserve my respect from the get-go, and you will have it. You can, however, lose it

Work smarter, not harder Sometimes. But sometimes you just have to put your back into it, kid!

Honesty is the best policy Not always. I'm not saying lie, but sometimes it's kinder / smarter / more appropriate / downright safer to just hold your tongue

Blood is thicker than water No. There is so much more to a relationship than whether or not you are related. Love, respect, shared experiences, the other person's needs and personal choice spring to mind

Good things come to those who wait Rarely. Get off your backside and go chase those good things!

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer No way. Life is too short to be hanging out with enemies

Never apologise for who you are Occasionally you are rude, obnoxious, prejudiced, hurtful or even cruel. We all are. Apologise for that

Never go to bed angry Actually, maybe a little time out would be good for both of you!

Don't take no for an answer Honestly? Sometimes you need to learn how to hear and accept the word "no," and move on

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again This is similar to the above. I get that perseverance is important, but maybe try coming at it from another angle? I mean, isn't it one of the definitions of insanity to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome?

Your high-school years are the best years of your life Please god no!

Sayonara, crappy week

What a week! I'm not going to lie, I'm incredibly glad to see the back of this week, which seemed to last for months, and was fairly dismal for a lot of it. But anyway, we're at the end now. Finally! A sunny weekend is forecast, and I plan on doing some baking, and maybe a spot of drinking white wine in the garden. What are your plans?

Meanwhile, here is some mail-art I've been making recently, in moments of peace. Painting mail makes me happy when I'm stressed or sad.

Halloween inspiration board (friendly ghosts and purring cats)

I know, I know, but I really love Halloween. On my street, it is such a community event. Crowds of small children, dressed to the nines in the most adorable costumes, carry their little jack ‘o lantern buckets along the footpath. The braver, older ones traipse up to front doors and knock with hope in their hearts, while the smaller, more timid ones stand and shuffle their feet and wait to see what happens next…

We don’t really trick-or-treat on my street, we just treat. There’s an unspoken rule that if a house has decorations out the front or if the front door is open, it’s ok to knock. Otherwise, the kids just pass on by.

By the time Halloween rolls around it’s daylight saving in these here parts, so it’s almost like a giant summer street party. We meet neighbours we’ve passed at the shops and never spoken to before. Our children shyly make new friends. Often, trick-or-treating ends in impromptu barbecues and picnics and drinks all along the grassy island that divides our street. Honestly, Halloween is the best.

I’m completely comfortable with cherry-picking the things I like about Halloween, and ditching the things I don’t. I don’t like horror, I don’t like gore. I like my ghosts friendly and my black cats purring, you know? And I’m ok with that.

And so, bearing that in mind, here’s what I’ve pinned to my (imaginary) Halloween inspiration board, so far.

* I really wish somebody would invite me to a tortured artist Halloween party (who would you go as?)

* These marshmallow spider’s web cupcake toppings look more tasty than spooky

* Still on the subject of cupcakes (why not!), these printable monster cupcake holders are adorable

* Edible glow-in-the-dark secret messages! Ok, ok, these ones are on cupcakes TOO, but you could also put them on biscuits. Or something.

* A big handful of All Hallows Eve confetti

* And finally, this luna lamp is just about the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It's part of a crowd funding campaign that's on right now, so act fast if you want to get your hands on one

Five-minute botanical postcards

These lovely, botanical postcards seriously take less than five minutes to make. Here's how to create your own:

∧∧ Take a stroll around the garden and choose some leaves in shapes you like Pro-tip: For best results, choose leaves that are soft (like geranium), not hard (like eucalyptus), and beware leaves or stems that are too fleshy as you'll just create mush rather than patterns

∧∧ Position a leaf on a piece of paper, then cover it with a paper towel Pro-tip: Try to have something flat-surfaced but cushioning underneath it, such as cardboard or several sheets of paper. You could also use a cutting board, that gets VERY loud

∧∧ Holding the paper towel in place, start hammering all over the leaf Pro-tip: Keep hammering until you can see the complete outline of the leaf in the paper towel, then hammer a bit more in the middle to fill it all in. Don't forget the stem

∧∧  Take off the paper towel and peel away the leaf to reveal your lovely stamp!

I made the postcards you see here using watercolour paper because it was thicker and could survive the post as a postcard. Once I'd created my botanical stamp, I just grabbed an old postcard and tore around it to get the size right. I also made some other stamps on standard copying paper, which I'll cut out and paste onto cardboard to create greeting cards.

This was a very child-friendly activity, with my three-year-old and my not-even-two-year-old both helping me, although much to their frustration I insisted on "helping" when it came to the hammering bit.

What do you think? Will you try making these?

Making lately

"And none will hear the postman's knock Without a quickening of the heart For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?" ~ WH Auden, 'The Night Mail'

Hooray! At last I've managed to make up a new batch of "19 ways to make snailmail even more fun" zines, packaged in handmade envelopes and sealed with wax, to post to readers. I'll be spending my nights this week writing letters and wrapping the zines in brown paper and turning their addresses into pretty, painted pictures. What have you been making lately?

Welcome, spring

Pastel-perfect blossoms from the tree behind the wall and across the laneway are floating into our garden and carpeting the grass in pink confetti.

The children are shedding layers, leaving trails of socks and stockings and cardigans throughout the house as they cast off the long, long winter and turn their faces to the warm and welcome sun.

The urge to clean and cleanse is irresistible. Last week a toy cull, clothing next. Floors and benches and table-tops shine.

I pick a posy of geraniums and pineapple sage and something purple that I can't remember, and they spill out of a fat, old teapot, brightening the table while we eat outside.

We discover Ralph has grown out of another hat. Last year's sun-hat, pulled out of winter storage this weekend, sits comically and ineffectually atop his beautiful, big noggin.

Tiny poppy seedlings are pushing their way up through the soil in our garden. “Little baby plants!” breathes Scout in awe. “Be very, very gentle.”

Welcome, spring. This year, I've made my peace with you.

Image credits: Alexandru Tudorache, licensed for unconditional use under Creative Commons