“‘If you knew how great is a mother’s love,’ Wendy told them triumphantly, ‘you would have no fear.'”
JM Barrie, Peter Pan
Ralph has taken to calling me “Big Mamma,” which is not particularly flattering, but relates adorably to “Little Mamma,” his sister.
During an argument…
Ralph: I put you in the bin, Scout!
Scout: Well, you’re not my best friend.
Ralph: I DO want to be your best friend!
Scout: Then say I am not in the bin.
Ralph: I put you OUT of the bin!
Scout: Alright, what balloon would you like?
And more about misbehaviour…
Me, to Ralph: Can you please be a good boy today?
Ralph: No! I will be A. Naughty. Boy!
Me: Oh dear. I feel sad when you are naughty.
Ralph (cuddles me around the neck): Alright, I will be a good boy.
Scout: I will be naughty!
Ralph: I’m lovely to see you, Mummy.
Scout: Mummy, you are a queen and you will look the same when you are a little old lady.
Me: Scout, thank you for doing such a great job tidying up the play-dough.
Scout: You might want to give me something for that.
Lunch time. Sandwiches apparently give the children magic powers, and Ralph is determined to do what he calls “naughty magic”…
Me: Quick Scout! Eat some magic sandwiches so you can counter Ralph’s magic spells!
Scout (takes a big bite of her sandwich): One, two, three…
(get it? COUNTer?)
Ralph: This is a lovely autumn day for a chocolate milkshake.
Music teacher is handing out maracas to all the children…
Me: What do you say, Ralph?
Ralph (brandishing maracas): Let’s rock!
Scout hands me a fist full of coins…
“This is for you because you never have any money. Now put it in your purse so you don’t lose it.”
Ralph: Do aeroplanes have bladders for their wee?
Kids have been arguing and yelling at each other all morning…
Me: Hey guys, can anyone remember that I told you this was a No Fight Day?
Ralph: No, it IS a fight day!
Scout: Yeah it IS a fight day!
Both kids: Fight day! Fight day! Fight day!
(united at last)
Scout: Mummy, I want to keep you.